


Blind Sadness

by nyeh413peasants



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, No Dialogue, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyeh413peasants/pseuds/nyeh413peasants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knew she shouldn't have let it get to her, but just hearing them killed her inside. She wasn't used to such unbelievable pain and sadness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, this is my first Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic. I got to thinking about Toph and her feelings for Sokka, and this angst-ridden story was the result. I don't hold any ill-will toward Sokka/Suki, in fact, I love the ship! I just thought it would be cool to explore Toph's mind. I hope you all enjoy!

Nothing she had ever been through would have prepared her for the sadness she felt. All her life, Toph Beifong had been sheltered, made to feel important, and told she mattered. It meant one thing coming from the parents she tried desperately to get away from, but it meant something completely different coming from her friends. Being born blind, she had been called weak when she was strong, she was told she needed to be protected when she could protect herself. It wasn’t until she ran away that she realized just how wrong she was.

Toph was able to take care of herself to a certain extent. She had her senses- everything but sight- and those senses helped her. But, oh how she wished she could see, especially when it came to Sokka. He was the boy turned man that she would have done anything for. His voice was almost hypnotic, though she acted annoyed with it at all times. His jokes were pitiful, though she struggled not to laugh every time he cracked one. He hurt her in the best way possible, and she wanted him. Toph wanted to be near Sokka whenever possible. She wanted to feel him, his warm breath against her lips, his body against hers.

Unfortunately, so did another woman. Suki. Toph hadn’t even been aware she existed until she came back, her and Sokka sharing a passionate kiss the moment hazel eyes met blue ones. Toph could just feel it through the pads of her feet. She could hear the way his heart began racing, and she could hear him whisper sweet nothings into the other woman’s ear. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to snap and scream at Sokka for hurting her, for not telling her. It was the silly part of her that wished to do so. Toph hadn’t been clear with her emotions; what had she expected?

Instead, in the midst of the cheering friends surrounding Sokka and Suki, Toph walked away, tears brimming in her eyes. While usually careful and aware of where she was going, in that moment, she just didn’t care. She wanted to be away from everyone; she didn’t want to think or feel. Toph wasn’t used to such strong emotions, as she’d always been able to force things to roll off her- to keep moving with the flow, but things were different. She had grown soft.

Toph supposed her age had something to do with it. Once she hit the age of seventeen, things began changing. She began hurting more, growing angry or sad. But nothing had been so extreme, nothing had prepared her for the moment her heart was ripped out of her chest. Toph wanted to scream her feelings at Sokka, or take her anger and sadness out on someone else. She didn’t want to deal with it any longer. So she wandered around the camp, hot tears dribbling down her cheeks. She didn’t bother wiping her eyes, as the tears would have kept coming. Her hands squeezed into fists, and she found herself punching a rock wall, the thin skin on her knuckles scraping and beginning to bleed. However, she welcomed the pain. In fact, Toph smiled and did it again. And again. And again.

It wasn’t until a hand landed on her shoulder that she broke free from the pain-filled trance she had found herself locked in. She turned quickly, one of her hands flying out and landing on a smooth face- Aang. Before he could say anything, she ran. Her feet guided her, making sure she didn’t run into anything. Toph ran until her chest was heaving and sweat was gathering at her brow. She could sense a body of water in front of her, the waves crashing into the shore filling her ears as she knelt in front of the cool liquid.

She tried blocking everything out of her mind- Sokka, Suki, everyone. In that moment, Toph wished she were still with her family, back within the safety of the city walls, getting into trouble every now and then, but nothing too extreme. She regretted running away, especially if it meant enduring unbelievable pain. But she couldn’t go back. Aang needed her help, even if there was no danger present. Something was always lurking.

Toph wasn’t sure how long she stayed by the body of water, but the tide rising signaled the fact that she’d been there long enough. Part of her wished the others had come looking for her, but the stronger part of her was glad they hadn’t. She wasn’t sure what she would have said, especially if it had been Sokka that found her.

A soft breath pushing its way past her lips, Toph stood, stretching her legs and back before making the trek back to camp, hoping everyone was asleep. It didn’t take her long to actually return, her feet and ears picking up on the heavy, calm breathing of her sleeping friends. It calmed her knowing everyone was asleep, so she moved forward, grasping her sleeping bag and lying down, ready to get a good night’s sleep- if it were even possible.

However, just as she closed her eyes, more sounds filled her ears. Labored breathing from Sokka’s tent. She sat up quickly, ready to surge inside and save him, but another being breathing joined in the mix. Suki. It quickly dawned on her that there wasn’t danger at all. They were making love- something that she had wished to do with Sokka for a few years, and instead, he was with someone else. Someone that was probably much more beautiful than her. Toph had always been a tomboy, even confusing some with the way she dressed and acted, and it dawned on her that that might have been what turned Sokka off from her. Perhaps she wasn’t likable.

There were a number of possibilities that ran through Toph’s mind, and each made her feel more and more horrible about herself. Each painful thought that ran through her mind was like a sharp stab to the heart. However, instead of running, she stayed put. She felt too numb to actually move. Toph listened to the soft moans coming from Sokka’s tent, leaving little to Toph’s imagination. But gods, how she wished it were her in Suki’s place. How she wished it was Sokka pushing into her, becoming one with her. But it wasn’t. It was Sokka and Suki inside, making passionate love to one another, while Toph stayed outside, the chilly night air making her shiver, and leaving her absolutely heartbroken.

She realized Sokka would never return the feelings Toph so desperately desired, and that was just something she needed to realize- no matter how much sadness it caused her.


End file.
